Pocketful of faith…in myself

I’ve written about the song ‘Pocketful of Faith’ before. This past weekend it came up for me again, and I’ve been listening to or thinking about it a couple of times a day since.

This morning I was thinking again about what the phrase ‘pocketful of faith’ means. Faith in what? Previously I’ve thought of it as faith in God. But maybe it also takes faith in myself.

I’m an introvert, sometimes to the point that I could be the definition of introvert. I’m quiet and an internal processor. I enjoy the company of people, but too many people or for too long and I become overwhelmed and need to withdraw to recharge. And I’ve been (and still am) criticized for this, for not being outgoing and instead preferring to stand to the side to observe. Others see my quiet personality as a weakness.

And over time their thoughts have rubbed off on me. I was led to think that my personality would not allow me to be a leader, that my personality made me unqualified to speak up, that my personality meant that I should avoid situations that involve socializing, that my personality would limit what I could do with my life, that my personality would limit who I could become. I was led to believe that my personality made me ‘less than’ others, and that my place was to remain in their shadow.

Last night a friend shared the following quote:

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This came after I’d shared with another friend that I’d been reminded that, where people may see me as incapable because of my personality, I am capable, I just do it differently to them.

Maybe I also need some faith in myself. Not heaps, but just a little bit, just a pocketful.

Take this pocketful of faith
It is all I have today
I’m giving it all
I’m giving it all

One recording of this song that I’ve listened to begins with the quote “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called”. Maybe I don’t just need faith that God is capable of equipping me, but also faith in myself that I am enough and I’m capable of taking the first step, faith that maybe I’m already more equipped than I realize, faith to realize that I’m already being equipped.

Maybe I need to acknowledge that God has given me a pocketful of faith in myself. I wonder what might happen if I give it back to God to work with…

Take this pocketful of faith
It is all I have today
I’m giving it all
I’m giving it all

 

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